The Dangers of American Football
by blueoctober
Summary: Sheppard decides it's time to teach his team and fellow expedition members the joys of American football. Only he did not count on how hard or dangerous it would end up being.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the Stargate Atlantis characters; if I did a certain doctor never would have been killed off… Anyways, a few characters mentioned in this story are my own (they were used in another one of my stories). Also, I don't have a beta so all grammar mistakes are my own and mine alone… I'll try to keep them to a minimum.

TIMELINE: This takes place sometime after Duet, in season two, and before The Return 1&2, in season three, but doesn't really follow any episode. There's a slight mention of the book, War and Peace, Sheppard was reading in Home, season one.

A.N. So here's the first part of my finally completed story. I had this idea before the episode Sunday but have only now managed to finish it… I would like to apologize ahead for any mistakes in the rules or offending any avid American football fans. I still don't completely understand the game but tried my best. Well I hope everyone enjoys it, if you have the time please let me know what you think. I would really appreciate it.

**Chapter 1: An ingenious idea**

The room was silent except for the occasional page turn and sighs from its only occupant. The sighs themselves were fairly frequently compared to the sound of paper being turned. John Sheppard looked up from his place from the enormous novel, Leo Tolstoy's _War and Peace_, in his lap to check the time. Which turned out to be the third time in the past twenty minutes. Although it was nice and relaxing, if not a bit boring, to finally get a day off, he felt extremely restless just reading in his room.

Sighing, for the unknown number of time, he returned his attention back to his book. He only had two more pages to fulfill his weekly quota of three pages. The ultimate goal was to complete the massive novel within three years and around six weeks. He was only on page twenty and there were 1,136 pages in the massive novel. With the time they had been on Atlantis he had hardly made a dent.

Again sighing, this time in disappointment at his slow reading pace he tried to forget how far behind he was. Forcing his eyes back to the page he had been trying to read for the past half an hour unsuccessfully, he tried again.

He felt himself start to nod off, eyes growing heavy, and slowly closing at their own accord. The words became blurred, running together to form an undecipherable blob. His droopy eyes then caved in defeat, closing completely. His hands slowly started to slip from their place on the novel falling towards the bed. While his head fell forward almost coming to rest on his chest. As his hands slipped off the book completely, the huge volume closed, the sound and shift of weight caused him to jerk awake, his head moving upright and eyes becoming wide open again.

No, he could not afford to take a nap if he was going to meet his quota of three pages. It was not much but it was more possible than his previous quota of five pages. Why bother having a quota if it was impossible to meet?

Rubbing his eyes in hope of staying awake, he opened the novel, and tried to find his spot on the page again. After a few failed attempts he managed to find his place or what he thought was the right place, though he would deny it firmly if anyone asked. Blinking his eyes a couple of times he tried reading once again.

As his eyes wandered away from the text once again he wondered once more why he had brought this book with him. He was not a quitter though; he was determined to fully read the book, even if it was rather dull. Forcing himself to stay on task he looked back at the page. At the spot he thought he had stopped at. He wasn't completely sure though.

Reading, he soon realized he picked the wrong section again as he remembered it. Looking away for a second in frustration, he lost his focus immediately, eyes roaming around his room, looking anywhere but the page of the novel in his lap. Shaking his head, he forced his eyes back to the novel. He could not lose focus. The quota needed to be met.

After a few seconds he was unable to resist the temptation and hazel eyes looked up again and roamed around the room. Trying to remember why he chose this particular book over more interesting ones, he looked around the room. His eyes fell on his football.

Quickly putting down his book without placing a bookmark, John hurried over to the ball. The ball was well used and worn but still one of his prized possession. Running his hands over the ball an idea came to mind. Tossing the idea back and forth in his head, weighing out the pros and cons, he left his room with the football. He would make up the pages tomorrow perhaps or maybe the day after.

As he hurried towards the door with the football in hand he grabbed his jacket. Walking out into the corridor on his way to locate the people he had in mind needed to fulfill his plan he wrapped the ball in his jacket, hiding it from view.

* * *

The corridor was empty as he approached his first destination. Reaching the doors of the training room he could hear the sound of flesh hitting the ground. Wincing at the sound, he knew he found his first target. Entering the room he spotted Ronon trying to train some military soldiers, Sergeant Samuel Edwin's team. He winced again when Ronon defeated two of the team members single handedly as the remaining two watching in a combination of awe and horror.

John cleared his throat, unintentionally sparing the remaining two members of the team from Ronon for the time being.

"Hey Ronon, can you spare a few minutes? Actually make that an hour?"

Ronon shrugged.

"Think of it as training. Just for an hour."

"I guess."

"Great. Meet me at the north pier in thirty minutes," pausing to look at Edwin's team he quickly added, "I expect to see the rest of you there too."

He barely waited for their nods before hurrying out of the room in search of the remaining people on his list.

* * *

Hurrying down the corridor near the mess hall he spotted two very familiar people ahead, one being on his list.

"Hey Teyla," he called out causing them to stop.

Reaching them he asked her, "I've been looking for you. Are you free?"

"I have no pressing matters on hand. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, just putting together a little team training exercise. Just meet me on the north pier in about," he looked at his watch, "in twenty-five minutes."

"I shall see you there."

"Training exercise?" Elizabeth asked, looking at John with confusion clearly written on her face.

"Well sort of. It's more like team bonding with a common goal in mind."

"And you're doing this on your day off?"

"I figured now was a good time."

"What exactly would all of you be doing? I won't have to have Doctor Beckett standing by with a medical team will I?"

"Ah… no… it's nothing dangerous."

Seeing her unbelieving expression he added quickly, "Nothing too dangerous, I mean it's safe. Well mostly, it should be fine. You're welcome to come if you want. The more the better."

"I might just do that," she said giving him a pointed look not believing the activity he had planned was completely danger free.

"I'll see you there then."

Nodding to them he quickly left, before either could change their minds, and made his way to the mess hall.

* * *

As lunch was almost over he was not surprised to see the mess hall mostly empty. Looking around, he was relieved to see his third target sitting alone at one of the tables finishing up his lunch.

"Major Lorne."

"Sir."

"You aren't doing anything today are you?"

"No."

"Good, meet me at the north pier in twenty minutes."

"Sure, may I ask what for?"

"You can ask but you'll have to see."

Receiving a somewhat reluctant yes from Evan, he rushed out of the mess hall in search of the rest of his targets. So far, surprisingly, everything was going according to his plan. Grinning he walked towards his next destination and almost ran into Laura Cadman in the corridor by herself. An idea suddenly popped into his head. One that would surely annoy a certain scientist, not that he was going to rub a certain incident that happened a couple months ago in anyone's face but the opportunity was too good to pass up.

"Lieutenant Cadman you wouldn't happen to be free by any chance today?"

"I had nothing planned."

"Great, could you meet me at the north pier in twenty minutes?"

"Sure."

"See you then."

He left quickly before she could ask what for. Now he only had two more intended targets, though he might add to his list if he ran into anyone else before then. The list was not set in stone.

* * *

Just as predicted and hoped, he spotted Rodney about to enter his lab. He called out before the scientist could enter his lair.

"McKay."

"What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?" Rodney stopped outside the door, clearly irritated.

"We have the day off."

"Your point being? Just because we're not on some mission off world doesn't mean I have nothing to do like some people. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an experiment to run."

John barely resisted the strong urge to roll his eyes. Only Rodney would be running an experiment on his free day.

"We need to go down to the north pier."

"For what?"

"Team training."

"Why?"

"Just because."

"Can't it wait an hour or so?"

"No."

"Whose idea was it?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters."

"The sooner we get there and finish the exercise, the faster you can get back to your little experiment."

Before Rodney could retort the doors opened and Radek walked out. Both scientists barely avoided collision. What was it with scientist and being unable to multitask?

"What?" Rodney all but barked out at Radek.

Seeing the second scientist a similar idea to the one he thought of when he saw Cadman came to mind. Although having Rodney was bad enough it might be interesting to have two scientists participating in his plan. It would not hurt to have more people with the same skills to balance out the teams for his plan either.

"Are we not running the experiment?"

"Of course we are."

"No, not now."

John and Rodney both remarked at the same time.

"Which one is it?" Radek asked, looking at both of them.

"Not now, you both can run whatever experiment you had planned later."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so McKay. Come let's go. The faster the both of you come, the faster the team training exercise will be over, and the experiment can be run."

"The both of us? Zelenka isn't on our team," Rodney jerked his thumb towards the other scientist who had been slowly inching his way from the two team members, clearly not wanting to go.

"Ah… it will be a good experience for him and he needs the training anyways."

"You know I'm perfectly fine staying on Atlantis. I don't need to go off-world anytime soon."

"Nonsense. It will be fun. Come on, let's go."

"Can't it wait?"

"I guess but Ronan was looking forward to the exercise starting in fifteen minutes. He'll probably be upset if it gets delayed. I would hate to be the person who caused the delay. Do you know he took out half of Edwin's team single handedly earlier? I can only imagine what he would do to that person."

The scientists' faces both paled.

"I guess we could run it later," Rodney stammered out.

John nodded and grinned. He led them towards the pier. Thankfully he was slightly ahead so they could not see the smirk on his face as he walked.

"What's in your jacket?" Rodney asked, noticing the bundle John was carrying under his arm.

"You'll find out later."

"Why don't you just tell me, now and to save the anticipation?"

"Hey do you know where Beckett is?" John asked trying to avoid the question and just remembering he was forgetting the last person on his list.

"Why are you asking me? I'm not his mother."

"Obviously but you're always getting injured and a hypochondriac. You must know where he is."

"I don't get injured that often and there's nothing wrong with being worried about one's health. He's probably in the infirmary sacrificing some lab rat for one of his voodoo rituals."

"He doesn't have the day off?"

"I don't know. I don't keep tabs on him."

"Okay, you two continue on to the north pier. I'll met you there."

Without waiting for a response he made his way down to the infirmary, hoping to find his last target.

* * *

The corridor was deserted and his footsteps echoed as he approached the infirmary doors. He grinned, he figured no one would be going to the same place he was. After all who would voluntarily go to an infirmary during their free day? Nearing the door, the only sound in the corridor was the echo of his footsteps.

Suddenly at the doors it dawned to him. He was actually voluntarily going into this place. Before the doors he hesitated, maybe this was not such a great idea. John definitely did not want to be on the receiving end of a huge needle anytime soon. Which he figured he might be sooner than later if Carson was extremely opposed to the idea he was going to proposing. Although the threat was almost enough to halt him in his tracks, the benefits were slowly outweighing any misgivings he had.

Now determined to follow through, not only because it would be a good exercise for the doctor to experience but also that it might once and for all prove to the doctor that American football was a true sport to be appreciated. The only major flaw in the plan was it all depended on if Carson's shift was over or if he had the day off.

John walked into the infirmary while still fighting the urge to flee in the other direction. Now all he had to do was determine if Carson was here or not and whether he was free, then leave as soon as possible before being admitted as a patient for some reason. Carefully he made his way through the infirmary avoiding the staff milling around.

He just needed to get to Carson's office to see if he was there or not as he did not appear to be treating any patients. Heart racing and the sound of his footsteps loud to his ears, he made his way to the office.

"Colonel, do you need something?"

He froze, hearing his target's voice. Turning around he was greeted Carson's bemused face. Taking in the doctor's attire, of his uniform and lab coat, John figured his friend would not be free anytime soon. Abandoning his previous objective, he threw out an answer he hoped would not sound too suspicious for his visit to this particular place.

"No, just you know just walking around."

"In my infirmary?"

Seeing the disbelief on his friend's face he cringed inwardly. Okay, maybe that was not the best answer. Quickly trying to come up with a better answer he eyed the doctor's hands worriedly, they were fingering the stereoscope around his neck. John needed another answer before he was admitted as a patient.

"Actually I was looking for McKay but I guess he isn't here so I'll just be leaving."

"I'm sure he'll stop by at least once today."

John shifted on his feet, noticing Carson eying the bundle under his arm with a mixture of curiosity and concern.

"Probably. I'll see you later, then."

He left quickly before the good doctor could ask about what was hidden under his jacket. Barely walking, practically running, out of the infirmary he narrowly avoided a collision with a nurse. In his hurry he failed to hear a soft chuckle from a certain doctor watching in amusement.

It was only once outside the infirmary and in the corridor, he sighed in relief. That encounter was a little too close for comfort. He would have to ask Carson to participate in his little exercise another time.

* * *

Standing out on the pier with five minutes to spare he was pleased to see everyone he had ask to come was present or at least walking towards him. Once everyone was together he grinned. In a few minutes his ingenious plan would be in play. Clearly his throat a little, he looked at the people gathered before him ignoring the glare he was getting from one particular scientist.

"Well since we're all here we can get started. I'm sure you'll all wondering why you're here. I figured we could all use a team ah… group training sort of exercise. And since everyone didn't having any pressing plans today would be perfect."

"And what might this exercise be?" Elizabeth asked, worried about the answer.

"Touch football." He said as he uncovered his prized possession, so everyone could see the football in his hand.

His answer was meet with stares, it looked like many were trying to figure out if he was serious or not. Their reaction was not quite the one he was hoping for. Pressing his lips together, forming a fine line, he wondered what was wrong with what he said. None of them seemed exactly excited about the idea.

"You want us to play a game of touch football? I have more important things to do than play some ridiculous game!" Rodney exclaimed breaking the silence.

"It's not a ridiculous game. It's practically a training exercise."

"It's a game not some training exercise."

"It could be. It involves teamwork and good communication. Something everyone needs off-world plus it's good exercise will all the running around that is involved."

"That's just some excuse you came up with."

"He actually has a good point." Elizabeth spoke up.

"You're not actually agreeing with him are you Weir? I thought you didn't like football."

"It might be a good experience. I might not like the game but there aren't any pressing matters or crises on hand at the moment. It might be fun."

"See," John said with a grin.

"You can't force me to."

"Will one game kill you?"

John figured he would not mention that a game usually lasted an hour or so.

"It might. Hey where's Beckett? I thought you were going to force him to come too?"

"I was thinking about it but he's still on duty."

"The lucky him bastard."

Ignoring that comment John asked, "How bad could it be? Just one game McKay, that's it and I won't ask you again… for today."

"Fine but just one game."

"Great so everyone else is okay?"

Everyone nodded though Radek looked a little pale. If anyone was against it no one spoke up especially with the head of their expedition was agreeing to the exercise.

"Okay for teams I was thinking I would have my team plus Dr. Weir and Zelenka. Lorne you would have Edwin and his team plus Cadman."

"Sir, I hardly think these teams are fair."

"They seem fine to me Lorne."

"But you have Ronon."

John turned to his fellow team member taking in his height and muscles. Evan did have a point but he was not willing to admit that out loud anytime soon. He looked at the rest of his team.

"But I have McKay, Zelenka, and Weir. I would say that evens it out."

He glazed over at Elizabeth giving her a silent apology. She shook her head and rolled her eyes, not the least bit offended. Evan nodded in agreement with John's statement.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Rodney demanded, sounding offended. Radek, beside him, just gave John a curious look.

"Nothing just that the teams are fair," stated John.

Placing the football under his arm, he rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

"So let's get this game started."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: A recipe for disaster **

John's remark was meet with silence. The gentle breeze that had been blowing earlier was gone. No one was moving, just staring at him. Whether it was because they didn't understand, believe him, or know the rules of the game was beyond him. The comfortable silence began to become uncomfortable. No one was willing to take the first step.

"I do not believe everyone here understands the rules of your touch football," Teyla said breaking the silence gesturing to Ronon and herself mainly.

"Oh, right. Well it's simple. One team starts off with the football and tries to get to the other team's end zone to make a touchdown while the other team tries to stop them. But instead of tackling just tap the person with the ball to stop them. If the person with the ball is stopped the ball goes to the other team."

"End zone?" Ronon asked.

"Ah, yea. Each team has its own side and to get points each team has to make it to the other team's side with the football."

Quickly he jogged a few yards away from where they were standing and tossed his jacket down on the ground.

"Here's one end zone. McKay hand me your jacket."

"But I'm wearing it."

"Just had it over."

"I'll be cold."

"Not in a few minutes."

"No."

"Fine, I need someone else's jacket."

Evan Lorne took off his and tossed it over.

"There's one and we need two more to make that other one."

Edwin and Howell took off theirs and presented them to Sheppard.

"Just put them around 25 to 50 yards over there," he said pointing to a spot in front of them.

As the last jackets were put into place to mark the end zone Rodney grumbled angrily.

"I don't see how this is a team training exercise?" A look of disgust was on the scientist's face.

"Like I said before McKay, it evolves team work as well as lots of running and…ah…"

"Communication skills." Elizabeth added.

"And communication skills," John nodded his thanks.

"Those are just some excuses you came up with so you could get a game organized."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Well believe what you want it's the truth."

Seeing the incredulous look he was receiving from his friend he added, "Well mostly. Anyways that's beside the point. So those are basically the rules."

"How do we start?" Ronon asked.

"Both teams face each other, one has possession of the ball. The one with the ball counts off and then starts running with it."

"That's it?"

"Yea."

"Wait sir, how many downs?" asked Evan.

"Oh, let's say six."

"Downs?" questioned Teyla.

"Yea, downs are the number of time a team gets to try and get the ball to the end zone. Typically there are four downs to ten yards but to simplify things we'll just have six downs to the end zone."

Teyla nodded her thanks.

"Okay so that's should be all the rules."

"Should be?"

"The important ones, McKay."

"So the others aren't."

"I didn't say that. It's just that they aren't as critical to the game."

"What…"

"Sir who's going to have possession of the ball first?" Evan interrupted, clearly hoping to stop the escalating argument there.

John paused, frowning when he realized there was another thing he forgotten to mention. Perhaps he should have planned out his idea entirely first before implementing it. Well there was always next time.

"Does anyone have a coin on them?"

"Let me look for that coin I carry in my pocket all the time," Rodney remarked.

"You carry money with you?"

"Of course not!"

"Then I take it is as no on the coin. How bout a rock?"

"A rock? Elizabeth asked, confused.

"We could mark one side of it then flip it but we'll need a pen."

For a second time that afternoon he was meet with blank stares.

"Um… so no rock. How about I pick a number between one and ten."

"How is that suppose to work when you're one of the team captains?" Rodney remarked.

"… that won't work. Any suggestions?"

Once again it was silent.

"Okay Lorne best out of three?

John asked with his fist out.

"Sure. On three?" He held out his own fist.

"On three."

"One…two…" Fists moved up and down.

"Wait when you say three you mean four."

"No I mean three."

"On three or right after it?"

"On three."

"Right when you say three or a second after?"

"When I say three."

"Directly after?"

"No when I say three."

"So when you say three you mean three."

"No I mean ten."

"Ten? That doesn't make sense."

"When I say on three I mean on three. Not before or after."

"Right after you say it."

"Yes."

"Okay. So on three again."

"Yes unless you would like to clarify again."

"No sir. Unless…"

John glared at him, daring the younger man to continue. Time seemed to stop as their eyes locked. The waves of the ocean crashing again the pillar below were the only noise.

"Never mind."

"Sure about that?"

"Yes sir."

"Ready?"

Evan nodded.

"One… two… three…"

Fingers sprang into action breaking from their fist formation.

"That's one," John said with glee as he won the first round, beating Evan's paper with his scissors.

"You're using rock paper scissors to determine who gets the ball first?" asked McKay.

"Yes. Is there a problem with that?"

"Nope, none what so ever. It just has to be one of the stupidest ways of determining something. Although it's not too surprising considering who came up with that idea. Now if it was me…"

"Just can it McKay. You had your chance at suggesting a method but didn't." John glared at Rodney before turning to Evan again.

"Ready for round two?"

Evan nodded.

Fists were held up again as the count off began.

"One… two… three…"

"Ah… so we're tied now. Ready for the last round Lorne?"

"Yes, sir."

"One… two… three…"

"Yes! Okay, let's start." John rubbed both his hands together in glee as he won the last round.

Once it was determined who got possession of the ball, theoretically game should have started without any more hitches. It being Sheppard's plan and having the rest of his team participating it was not that unexpected when it took another 10 minutes for each team to get into formation for the actual game to start.

Soon the ball was in the air. Game had finally started. John could barely control his excitement but then it all came to an end within seconds as the ball bounced off Ronon's chest. Causing the game to a halt seconds after it started. After the object of the game was explained once more to Ronon since he had not made a move to catch the ball the game got started again.

John saw the ball fly through the air heading towards Elizabeth. Miraculously she somehow managed to catch the ball. Her eyes wide in shock and she stood frozen in place. It was just his luck, the throw was complete but his team was going to lose the ball if Weir did not start running soon. Seeing Lorne's team running towards her he ran towards her also waving his arms and shouting.

"Run! Weir run!"

Elizabeth snapped out of her baffled state, noticing the many people running towards her. Squealing, she turned around running from them intent on getting as far away as possible not noticing the error in her choice of direction.

"No go the other way! That's the wrong way." John practically screamed.

She was going to cause their team to score on itself unless they managed to get her to stop or start running in the right direction. Before she had the chance to change direction Ronon had quickly reached her and picked her up. Running towards the correct end zone, he had her in a fireman's lift. Unfortunately for them the play was ended before they scored.

After that failed play everything seemed to be going fine until Ronon decided to tackle Howell in attempt to get possession of the ball. Everyone was horrified to see Ronon tackle the unprepared Howell from behind, bringing the both of them down hard to ground, Howell taking most of the fall. With a wrist that was starting to swell Howell opted to leave the game for the infirmary. As he left John could have sworn Howell had a look of relief.

They got the game going again without much mishap, after John explained to Ronon in great detail why if was against the rules to tackle the other team. John's team had possession of the ball, him to be exact. Seeing no one else open he yelled and threw the ball to Rodney.

"McKay."

Unfortunately for the both of them, more for Rodney, the scientist failed to turn in time and was struck in the back of the head.

"OUCH!"

Everyone froze.

"You did that on purpose!"

"Did not!"

"Did too."

"Look, I'm sorry. It wasn't like I had planned to hit you in the head. You were suppose to turn around."

"I knew it! You had been planning this from the start."

"What? I didn't say that McKay. Why would I hit you on purpose? That makes no sense, you're on my team."

"I don't know. You're the one who hit me!"

"I said I was sorry. Let's just get back to the game. It's not like you have a concussion "

"I could have had."

"But you didn't"

"That's besides the point."

"If I let you start the next play will you stop it?"

"Fine."

Everyone else appeared to let out a sigh of relief but soon groaned when Rodney miraculously pegged John in the back of the head.

"What was that for?"

"Now we're even."

It looked like Sheppard was going to say something but settled for rolling his eyes and getting the game going again.

Around 15 minutes later, while Sheppard's team had possession of the ball and was about to start a play Rodney insisted on being the one to give the call.

"Fine you can give the call. Just make sure it's something everyone will recognize."

"Sure, umm…let's see…" John bit his tongue to prevent himself from slapping the scientist. It wasn't that hard. All Rodney had to do was pick some random thing to say and let the rest of them know what it was.

"Okay I've got. It's really obvious."

He turned to walk away with the ball.

"McKay, aren't you going to tell the rest of us?"

"Oh, right. It's chemistry."

"Chemistry?"

"I couldn't think of anything else. It's really obvious."

"Okay, fine. Let's go."

They got into formation with Rodney in the center with the football on the ground. John crouched down, ready for the call. He looked over at Rodney, already having second thoughts on letting him run the play. Pushing those doubts away from his mind he tried to focus on the play that was about to be begin. It should be fine, hopefully. Waiting he could feel the adrenalin rushing through his veins. At any moment now, the play would start.

"Helium…"

"Neon…"

Were those elements Rodney was yelling out? How on earth were they suppose to know when to go? He shot the scientist an incredulous look but it did not stop list of elements.

"Argon…"

He had no idea what Rodney was getting at and looking around at his teammates he could tell he was not the only one and to think the scientist had said it would be obvious.

"Krypton…"

It sounded like a random list of elements from the periodic table.

"Xenon…"

He should have expected Rodney to screw up a simple count down some how.

"Radon…"

Okay this had gone on long enough and he still could not figure out what Rodney was getting at. He moved from his position and started to walk toward his friend set on calling a timeout. As always fate seemed against him since sudden another element was yelled but this time louder.

"SODIUM!"

The next seconds went by in a blur. It seemed sodium was the key word to start the play and the scientist in question had started running soon after yelling it. Once Rodney had started running towards the crudely made end zone the other players had broken from their confused state of minds and had followed in pursuit leaving a very confused colonel behind. Within seconds the scientist was brought to a halt a few feet from where the play had started.

"What was that?" John asked, annoyed by the fiasco.

"A play. What did it look like?"

"I meant with the elements? You were supposed to say something obvious."

"I did!"

"How on earth were we suppose to know sodium was word to go on?"

"None of you got it?"

"What do you think?"

"It was pretty easy. I'm surprised Zelenka here didn't get it. I thought you were smarter not as smart as me of course. I guess not everyone is blessed with a highly intelligent brain."

"McKay…"

"They were elements, to be more precise noble gases. Well except for sodium, which is a metal. Everyone was suppose run on sodium, the only element that wasn't a noble gas."

John felt a start of a headache. The pounding of his head was getting stronger with every second. Taking a few breaths he tried to calm his frustration. Deep breaths in and out, he kept telling himself. Feeling a little bit better he turned to address the situation on hand.

"Okay no more count offs for you McKay. Unless you can come up with something easier for the rest of us to understand, knowing you it won't be possible."

"Hey!"

After Rodney had been banned from giving any more calls, the game was going smoothly until Goodrick was tripped and fell flat on his face, getting a bloody nose. With another person out of the game and Lorne's team, Zelenka was moved over in attempt to balance the teams more.

The game was going well with Sheppard's team in the lead when Radek was elbowed in the face by McKay and ended up with bloody nose. With him out of the game, Elizabeth was moved to Lorne's team. The game was started again soon after.

Hearing footsteps approaching Carson looked up from the paperwork he was filling out and paused at the sight before him.

"Zelenka?"

Surely that couldn't be the scientist. The person in question had blood all over the hand covering his nose. Blood was dripping from between his fingers onto the floor. A shiner was starting to appear on one eye.

"Carson," Radek mumbled, his voice muffed by his hand and blood.

Quickly Carson herded him to an exam bed. Wondering what it was with bloody noses today as his was second.

Oblivious to what was happening in the infirmary John had his team in a huddle.

"Okay, so we're tied. In order to win we need to make another touch down."

"Really Sherlock, we hadn't noticed."

John glared at Rodney.

After Radek showed up in the infirmary and given him an unsatisfactory answer for his injury Carson decided it was time to uncover what was going on. Especially with the two other injuries he had treated the hour before. All he was able to determine was that Sheppard was holding some type of training exercise out on the north pier. The three injured men were refusing to say exactly what type of training. He had a feeling it had to do with the object John had been holding earlier. Why he was not included at least for providing first aid was beyond him. Thinking back it was probably the real reason Sheppard was in the infirmary earlier. Shaking his head at what the possibly training exercise a certain spiky haired Colonel could be holding he reached the pier and froze at what he saw. The sight before him certainly was not what he was expecting to see.

John watched as Ronon threw the ball at Rodney and it fly through the air at its intended target. If the scientist could just catch it this time and manage to reach the end zone they would win the game. Almost reaching its target, his eyes widen in horror at the site before him. Rodney was solely focused on catching the ball and did not see Carson behind him, who was had not noticed the scientist running towards him.

Running towards them, John waved his arms trying to get either of their attention.

"McKay! Beckett! Watch out!"

Whether Rodney did not hear or was choosing to ignore John to prove some sort of point was unclear but doctor turned his head towards John, eyes opening wide in horror. The only came a fraction too late as he no time to move to safety.

"Oh crap."

John winced as Rodney slammed into the doctor, elbowing him in the face, while catching the ball sending both of them to the ground in a pile, the physician taking the blunt of the fall.

Being the closest, John reached the pair first. Neither moved for a second before Rodney sat up quickly only to grab his head in pain.

"Ow…" Spotting John next to him he added, "this is all your fault."

Ignoring the scientist as he appeared fine, John kneeled beside the unmoving doctor.

"Beckett? Can you hear me?" He shook the doctor's shoulder gently. Getting no response he tried again.

"Beckett?"

The doctor let out a slow groan, mumbling, and feebly trying to swat John's hand away.

"Go away."

John let out a sigh of relief before glaring at a certain scientist that was still mumbling how it was John's fault for the collision.

Feeling something dripping out his nose Carson brought a hand up to his aching nose. Pulling his hand away he was not surprise to see blood staining his fingers. Quickly bringing his hand up again he pinched his nose, wincing as the pressure caused it to ache.

"Oh god. Carson."

"I'm fine."

It came out mumbled as his nose was pinched and blood was still managing to leak through.

"You're bleeding," turning to John he added, "This is all your fault."

Carson rolled his eyes.

"It's just a bloody nose McKay and how is it my fault? You were the one that wasn't paying attention." Ignoring Rodney, he asked Carson, "Beckett you need a med team?"

Carson shook his head only to wince and grab at his head with both hands causing large amount of blood to gust out of his sore nose.

"Ew that's gross. Can't you use your voodoo to stop it?"

"For the last time it's not voodoo!" Carson exclaimed his voice muffed by his hand. As he attempted to get up he was helped to his feet, swaying slightly, by Cadman and Lorne.

John watched as Carson was led away towards the infirmary with Rodney trailing and everyone else dispersing, using the latest injury as an excuse to quit the game. Picking up the discarded ball, he followed intending to start some of his reading. Maybe trying to teach everyone to play American football was a bit too dangerous.

A.N. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. I hope everyone enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think, good or bad. I would really appreciate it. Take care.


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